The End

Her: I read them.
Him: Read what?
Her: Those emails. I'm ashamed that I did it. But I had to know...
Him: You read my emails?
Her: You said nothing was happening! You looked me right in the eye and said it. Those emails weren't 'nothing'. They were.. so graphic!
Him: Oh God...
Her: How long? How long have you and she been...
Him: We haven't!
Her: Don't bullshit me. God! How can you expect me to believe you. All this time you said it was nothing. You said it was NOTHING! ... Do you love her?
Him: Yes...
Her: I think I'm going to be sick...oh shit...how could you do this?? How long have you been LYING to me?
Him: It's been physical for about six weeks.
Her: And before that? All that time I saw it happening. All that time I warned you to be careful. You made me feel STUPID! Like a suspicious STUPID FAT COW!! How could you LIE like that?? I cannot believe this is happening!
Him: I didn't mean this to happen.
Her: But you didn't do anything to STOP it. I could see it happening. You were so fucking transparent! You stupid man. You stupid, stupid man. Do you still love me at all?
Him: Yes. Oh God yes.
Her: You love her and you love me...tell me, what have you been telling her. What does she expect from this? Where does she think you'll both be in 12 months?
Him: She thinks we'll be together.
Her: Together? And where the fuck am I supposed to be?? Do I just DISAPPEAR???
Him: I don't know. I don't know...
Her: So you think you'll be with her in a year too?
Him: I don't know...
Her: You mean you've been lying to BOTH of us?? You've been leading her on? Why should I care... I mean...God... I fucking MET HER!! You took me to parties where she was. Big fucking joke I must have been to all your little acting friends.
Him: She wanted to meet you. She said she would have liked you...
Her: Well I'm not so keen on being friends with your dirty little slut girlfriend!
Him: I didn't think you'd be upset...
Her: How could you say that? What a fucking cop out!! How did you expect me to react? Or was I supposed to just never find out? Did you think all our years together would just mean nothing? Never existed? Easy as that? I deserve better than this bullshit... You made me choose between trusting my instincts and trusting you... and I chose you. Now I can't trust anything. I don't think I can forgive that.
Do you understand what you've done? You've given away 'us'. My memories of us don't exist anymore. Everywhere we had that you've shared with her. Ripped out of my hands. How can I go to those places now? After reading all that. What you said. What you did. Here I am thinking you're exhausted from working all that overtime! You've turned me into a cliché too. Bad enough the 40 year old lusting after the 25 year old. Make yourself into a stupid cliché if you must. But I won't be a part of it!
Him: I'm... I'm so sorry. Do you want me to move out?
Her: Move out? You don't get to move out. How the fuck am I supposed to pay the rent here on my own? I cannot AFFORD IT! I don't know what we should do...
Him: I can't lose you... but I'm infatuated with her. I knew it couldn't last. But I couldn't believe it was happening. I couldn't believe she would want me. And then I couldn't get her out of my head. I couldn't think of anything else. Not you. Not consequences. Nothing.

He ended it with that woman. Six months later she was pregnant and marrying someone else. So much for their undying love.

And four months of marriage counselling left no words unsaid. I knew him, and myself, better than ever before. And I knew that the love that I felt for him was not going to be enough. That woman wasn't the reason we broke up. She was just a nasty symptom. The truth was, and it took the counselling for me to finally see it, that I would never be the most important thing to him. Not the second most important thing. I would have to wait behind his day job, his acting, his family, his friends, and those people he thought could further his ambitions. I hadn't seen it before, but now it was starkly clear. All these people got the best of him, and I wasn't prepared to stand in cue any longer.

There were no 'what ifs' in my mind the day I left our home. And there haven't been any ever since.

Two years on, and we are friends now, as best we can be. Noone knows us better than we know each other, our flaws and our weakness. He is a weak man. A selfish man. I say this with no malice. Just with acceptance. And because of this knowledge and acceptance, I know we will never be together again. For I deserve better.